Do you ever start to feel like you are spiraling in a never-ending cycle of self-criticism and self-judgement?
Do you feel like you can’t seem to shut out the negative thoughts and constant nit-picking at every aspect of yourself… ME TOO.
I was down bad the other night. The toxic thoughts started to flood my brain after I had a particularly social weekend. I was over analyzing every single conversation I had and thinking about what other people were “probably” thinking about me. When in reality, I am the ONLY person thinking about myself that much. But I know it can be so hard to believe that when the thoughts start to attack you non-stop.
I was feeling helpless in bed, tears running down my face… I got myself so worked up and devastated, for what?
I found myself realizing, why am I even crying?! Why am I being so mean to myself and why does this happen way too often? Surely my social anxiety and overthinking have been getting the best of me… fortunately, I have developed some coping mechanisms to help me calm down in these moments of darkness.
If you also find yourself becoming overwhelmed with intrusive and self-detrimental thoughts running around your head, it’s easy to forget that you deserve compassion and kindness that you give to others. Taking small steps to care for yourself can really make a huge difference and help stop the negative cycles from repeating.
Here are 4 simple ways to begin healing and break free from negative self-talk.
1. WRITE IT DOWN
My first suggestion is to get out a journal or open up your notes app and LET IT ALL OUT. It feels so good to materialize the thoughts from your head onto paper or the screen.
Writing or typing it out removes the power from the thought, it no longer only exists inside your brain, where you tend to ruminate it over and over again.
Sometimes while I am writing it down, I start to realize some of the thoughts are a bit unrealistic and ridiculous. Drama queen moment!
Once the toxic thoughts are on paper [or screen], there is a sense of relief because you “purged” the toxic thoughts and can move on to thinking about other things [hopefully more positive and productive thoughts!]
2. Get outside
My second suggestion is to TOUCH GRASS! Lol jk jk, but seriously, GET OUTSIDE.
Whether you want to just go on a walk or sit on a bench, getting some fresh air can really clear your head.
I recommend you stay outside for at least 15 minutes. You need a change of scenery and perspective.
If you are struggling late at night, I don’t recommend going outside, but maybe just open your window and get some fresh air for a bit!
Sometimes we have pent up energy and anxiety that overwhelm ourselves. Going on a light walk even just to the mailbox may release some of that tension and allow yourself to think clearly.
Do NOT just bed rot all day, it is ok to rest but at a certain point you need to go outside in the world.
3. Talk to someone you trust
My third suggestion is to call up your best friend or mom or sister, anyone you trust and TALK IT OUT. This has a similar effect to the 1st option of writing it all out. If you feel like you have someone you are comfortable to talk to, then I highly recommend you do it!
Your loved ones have your best interests at heart, so they will only be there to try to make you feel better. We tend to be our own worst critic.
In all honesty, maybe you are just over exaggerating a scenario in your head, when in reality, it wasn’t that deep.
You tend to make up stories in your head that cause you to spiral, but when you force yourself to say it out loud, you may gain a different perspective.
The other person will also comfort you and hopefully give you some insight/reassurance to help pull you out of the darkness.
4. Imagine how you would feel if you heard someone speaking to another person the way you speak to yourself
You would think they are a real jerk!
When you ask yourself this question in these dark moments, it would really wake you up!
You realize you are being so hard on yourself for no reason. You likely wouldn’t say or do this to someone else, so why is it ok to bully yourself?
IT’S NOT!
5. get off social media
This is a time to self-reflect. If you go on social media, there is a big change you are going to start comparing yourself to other people. This may send you further into the spiral… If you want to distract your mind, I suggest watching a movie or show instead of mindlessly scrolling!
You’d be surprised how much disconnecting can benefit your mental health, take a look at these 7 Benefits of a Social Media Detox! If are think that a detox is just not in the cards for you, don’t give up so easily! I give 4 easy tips for how to disconnect in my post here!
Take a moment to practice one of these tips and let me know how it works for you!
Have any other tips for how to cope with negative thoughts? Share them in the comments below!
